


Fine Motor Movements

by CJ_Ackerman17



Series: shit i write when im on my feelings about snk/aot [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:14:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28573587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CJ_Ackerman17/pseuds/CJ_Ackerman17
Summary: Erwin watched him closely and an idea clicked in his head. “Levi.. can you read?”Levi bowed his head in shame, “fuck you..”
Relationships: Levi & Erwin Smith
Series: shit i write when im on my feelings about snk/aot [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2091561
Comments: 4
Kudos: 72





	Fine Motor Movements

  
  
  


It was the first time he handed Levi a stack of papers that Erwin began to notice something. 

But he wouldn’t say anything, because Levi’s old friends were with him. 

Isabel and Furlan. 

And the tall one, Furlan, took the stack of papers and had Isabel and Levi come with him to the desk and fill them out. 

Erwin remembers closing the door, not before he heard whispered words. 

“I don’t understand.” 

  
  


The second time it happened was the day after his friends died. 

Levi declined on helping write down the dead and Erwin wondered if it was because he was so close to two people who died. 

Erwin asked him to write down their names, but Levi refused. 

And when Erwin asked him how to spell isabel's last name, Levi froze for a moment.

“Just sound it out, smith. You’re smart.” Levi sneered before walking back to his room, Erwin could hear his door slam from down the hallway. 

He knew something was wrong, he just had to pry it out of the smaller man eventually. 

  
  


Erwin would watch from a distance. 

Call him too observant, call him a stalker, but he watched everyone in the scouting legion. He was just appointed commander, he had a new responsibility. 

And with new responsibility came new people he wanted in charge. 

He was no longer a squad leader, he was commander Erwin smith. 

Erwin made a lot of changes, but his main one was making Levi the sword of hope that the people needed.

He tallied up Levi’s titan kills, and his skills were second to none, passing Mike’s within a month's time. 

That’s when Erwin knew he wanted Levi in the higher ranks, even though the man had a bit of a potty mouth and supported an attitude that would ground the strongest titan. 

When Erwin told Levi he wanted to make him captain, Levi had originally declined at first, shaking his head and taking a step back. 

No wonder Erwin brought me here, Levi thought to himself, it was to increase my status of humanities strongest by putting me in charge of something. 

“You don’t want the position?” Erwin asked him, sitting at his desk, “everyone jumps at the opportunity for a higher rank, you’re the first person to ever decline. I made this position just for you, no one else has the title of captain.”

But Levi just frowned and shook his head again. Higher ranks meant more paperwork, and Levi was struggling on his own. 

He was teaching himself the basics on his own, but he knew what captain meant. 

He would have to tally deaths and.. Levi learned the alphabet from Furlan a couple months ago, he wasn’t even teaching himself numbers yet. 

Levi.. just learned how to write basic things. 

It was embarrassing, especially when he saw other people do it so easily. 

It made him angry. 

He didn’t ask to grow up uneducated. 

When Erwin had a deadline to convince Levi to take the captain position, he tried harder. 

One day he went to Levi’s room and the door was open a crack, which normally wasn’t open. He peered in and his face softened at the sight. 

Levi was sitting at the desk in his room, staring down at a book Erwin recognized as the one Furlan picked out from the library all that time ago when he was alive. It was open to the beginning and Levi had his elbows on the table, the palm of his hands on each temple. His bangs covered his eyes, but Erwin heard it. 

A contained cry, and Levi reached for a tissue, wiping his face before throwing the tissue in the trash as he could to him reading. 

“If everyone else can do it, I can do it too.” Levi spoke to himself, a crack in his sentence. 

Erwin slowly pushed the door open and even though he made no noise, Levi shut the book and turned to look over his shoulder. Glaring at the commander, he spoke out of terms. 

“The hell do you want, Erwin?” 

No one else called him Erwin without commander in front of it besides Levi. 

Erwin watched him closely and an idea clicked in his head, “Levi.. Can you read?” 

He bowed his head in shame, “fuck you..” 

“There’s nothing wrong with that.” Erwin shut the door behind him, “is that why you won’t take the position of captain, all that paperwork?” 

Levi pulled one knee up and wrapped an arm around it, leaning his cheek on the top and looking away from Erwin. He sniffled, not saying a word. 

“It’s not your fault that you are uneducated, Levi.” Erwin walked up to the desk and pulled out a chair, sitting down carefully. 

The last thing he wanted was for Levi to lash out at him. 

Levi hugged his knee tighter, still not looking at Erwin. 

He had to admit, seeing Levi like this was weird and uncomfortable. Erwin grabbed the book Levi was reading, looking over the cover before opening it. 

The raven hadn’t even made it past the first page. 

The silence is what caused Levi to break, from the side, Erwin saw a couple tears falling down his cheeks. 

Erwins face softened more, “it’s only because you grew up down there, isn’t it? Was anyone educated down there?” 

“Furlan was, a little.” Levi spoke, “but only enough to make out small things. Isabel and I tried but we were taught too late. It didn’t stick. Obviously.” 

“Is that the only thing holding you back from the position of captain?” 

“Yes.” 

“Hm.” Erwin looked over the book, it was a book about nature and what was left of masterminds of evolution. He wasn’t surprised Levi was interested in this, he only discovered this world a couple months ago. 

Levi glared at the floor, “what? You don’t want me here anymore because I’m illiterate?”

Erwin gazed at him and shook his head, “actually, no. That is another reason why I want you here.”

He raised his head and stared at the commander, his eyes were slightly tinted red but Erwin didn’t comment on it. Levi put his leg back down and leaned forward, crossing his arms on the table and resting his chin on them. 

“Levi, I want you here.” Erwin reassured. “Right now, you’re my only hope to restore humanity's faith that we are strong enough against the Titans, and you know that as well.” 

Levi nodded his head, “Hange has been helping me.” 

His brow raised, “I didn’t think you enjoyed Hange’s company?” 

“She’s smart. She caught me trying to read a couple of weeks ago.” Levi said and sighed, “guess that secrets out. Your best titan slayer tool can’t even read. Some ‘humanity’s strongest soldier’ huh?” 

Erwin shook his head, “no, don’t talk down on yourself.” 

“How can I not?” 

It was silent after that, and to break it, Erwin opened the book after he closed it awhile ago. He turned to the first page and scooted closer to the raven, and set the book down on the desk in front of him. Levi lifted his head and looked at Erwin, eyes wet and sad. Erwin couldn’t have that. He scooted right next to Levi and put his thumb above the first word, and Levi’s brows furrowed as he looked from erwins thumb to his face. 

“Let me help you.” Erwin said softly, “practice makes perfect, right?” 

Levi’s cheeks flushed red and he nodded, “I guess.” 

Erwin smiled, “would you like me to read first?” 

He went to say something, but then closed his mouth. He swallowed his pride and looked down at the book, nodding his head. 

Surprisingly, Levi listened and followed along with Erwins finger as the blonde read to him. He told Erwin to stop sometimes and asked a question, and Erwin, without any judgement, would answer. Erwin even brought out a piece of paper and helped Levi spell out words he didn’t know. Eventually Levi stopped being as embarrassed when he realized all Erwin wanted to do was help, and he pressed up against Erwins side to see the book better. 

And the older man held back the urge to wrap his arm around him. 

“Erwin?” 

He stopped and looked at Levi, “yes?” 

“How.. how do I write your name?” 

Erwin just smiled, “here, I’ll show you.” 

It was the first full name he learned to write besides his own. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Sometimes when the raven was upset he would go to Erwins quarters and the older man didn’t usually ask why, but this time was different. Levi had knocked, which he normally didn’t do, gentle knocks instead of busting down the door. 

Erwin was laying in his bed, as it was late at night and he was exhausted from the night before. They had gotten back from an expedition that was rough. When he heard the knock, he sat up and yawned. “Come in.” 

When it was Levi instead of another member he was confused when all Levi did was step in, he was in his sleep ware but there was a troubled look on his face. 

“Levi.” He spoke immediately, the sleep leaving him when Levi shut the door behind him. 

He eyed the book in Levi’s arms, it was one they haven’t read in awhile. Actually, it’s been awhile since Levi had actually brought a book in here. And normally it was only when something was disturbing his thoughts. 

“Do you want me to read to you?” Erwin asked gently. Despite having done so many times before, Levi still got embarrassed. 

All Levi did was nod his head and walk to the bed, and handed Erwin the book when the commander reached for it. He scooted over and Levi laid down next to him on his stomach, face buried in the pillow. 

Only Erwin could see him this vulnerable. 

No one else. 

He opened the book to the marked page and started to read. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


The first time Erwin saw Levi truly devastated, like he was all those years ago when his friends died, was when his special operations squad was wiped out. Levi hadn’t come out of his room since they got back, which was quite troubling considering the problem at hand. Usually Levi would get back to work with Erwin without hesitation, but this was different. Erwin knew that. 

So when he finished with some work with Mike and Hange he excused himself to his captains quarters. He put his ear to the door and heard nothing, and he slowly opened the door. 

He was laying in bed, facing away from the door. On his side, he had the blankets pulled up to his chin and his face was buried in the pillow. Erwin walked forward and shut the door behind him gently as not to disturb him. He looked at Levi’s desk, it was clean, the only thing out of place was that the book was put away. It wasn’t laid out like usual. 

In a split second he saw Levi’s shoulders move, and he looked over at him. 

Levi was awake. 

“Levi?” 

Levi just hunched in on himself even more, pulling the blanket above his head. He didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want Erwin here. He didn’t want anyone here. He wanted his squad back. 

Erwin sat down on the side of Levi’s bed and gently reached out, fingers curling around the blanket and pulling it down slightly to see Levi’s tear streaked face buried into the pillow. 

His heart dropped to his stomach, he knew why this was happening. He wasn’t there for it, but he heard from Eren Yeager that the entire Levi squad had been wiped out by the female titan. No wonder Levi was a mess. 

Erwin took it upon himself and moved so he was laying down right next to Levi, laying on his back. Levi didn’t move. “I heard about your squad, Levi.” 

The ravens shoulders tensed. 

“They didn’t deserve it, just like anyone else. I know they were your family, and I’m sorry to hear they passed.” Erwin whispered. 

“I didn’t get there fast enough, I went straight to you.” Levi whispered, “I.. I could have helped them..” 

“There is nothing we can do now except remember they did not die in vain,” Erwin proposed. 

Silence. 

Erwin grabbed the first book he read to Levi all those years ago when he caught Levi at his desk trying to do it on his own. They haven’t read it in a while since they were busy and Levi took a fascination with different types of books. He flipped to the front page and at the sound of pages turning, Levi looked over his shoulder at Erwin. 

“The most interesting thing about life is how it works and how we function…” 

Levi just rested his head on his pillow and sighed in content, just letting Erwin read to him. He closed his eyes and focused on Erwins warm voice. 

Soon, he fell asleep. 

But Erwin kept reading. 

  
  
  
  
  


Shiganshina. 

Aka, where Levi’s heart truly broke. 

He carried Erwins body to that home and laid him down on the bed, taking his cape and putting it over his face. 

And he stood there with a frown on his face.

“You’re a selfish man.” Levi spoke to the dead, “you wanted your own dream to come true, but also wanted to fight for humanity. I know you better than anyone, I know what goes through your head.”

He couldn’t see Erwin's face, maybe that’s why it was easy to talk. 

“But through all that, you taught me basic shit I should have known. Now I help recruits with it, so thanks I guess.” 

Levi grabbed his clipboard, he had written down everyone else’s names like the other cadets were doing. The list was long, most were dead.

“Thanks, eyebrows.” Levi said, grabbing his pencil and began to write. 

  
  
  
  


_ Commander Erwin Smith _

  
  
  
  



End file.
